I woke up this morning like every other day, letting the dog
out, jumping in the shower and getting ready for work while Tanner watched “Chickmunks”
for the 100th time this month.
Do you know how many blessings are right there in that
statement?! I woke up! Thank God! I have an amazing little dog who often makes
me crazy but he loves me despite my impatience and foul mouth. I own a home
where I am safe and can shower any time I want to. I’m blessed with not one
amazing little boy but 4 beautiful, loving, intelligent, good-hearted children!
I have a job! I have a job in a place where people not only care about what I
do for them, but they care about me as a person. And I still, after 17.5 years,
wake up wanting to go to work. I have a t.v. I can actually remember a time when we only had 1 in the whole house! Not a
day goes by that I don’t count these blessings.
Someone once told me that we stop growing up, mentally, when
traumatic things happen to us, that whatever age we are when that traumatic
event takes place, that’s the mental age we maintain throughout our lives. I’ve
been guilty of being immature at times but more than that, I’m a serious
person. I’m a worry wart. I’m the one who is always focused on doing the right
thing, following directions, not making mistakes and just being serious, all
the time. If this theory is true it stands to reason I really did grow up too
fast! While I’ve had a lot of traumatic events in my life, the most traumatic
was losing my mother, 32 years ago. I wear my heart on my sleeve, as everyone
who knows me will tell you. It’s never
hard to tell what kind of mood I’m in. But I can promise you this…if I’m having
a bad day, and it’s your fault…I’ll tell you to your face. Not on social media
outlets. And while I may vent a little on these social media outlets, I will
always care enough about you not to embarrass you, or myself. I always try to
remember that while I see so much of my ‘friends’ lives online, there is plenty
they are not sharing. Personally, I miss the time when my friends would stop by
my house to say hi. I miss answering a home phone and having the person on the
other line just want to gab for a while. Talking is, after all, my very
favorite thing to do! I miss just going to the mall to walk around, shoot the
poo and window shop. I miss cookouts at the park. I miss having friends. All my
friends have suddenly turned into acquaintances, people I used to know. I wish
I could go back to a time when we all just talked more.
Life can be a real can of worms sometimes. It’s easy to see
how one can be so easily influenced by the negativity in the world. It’s all
around us. The media is a perfect example. There was a time, long before me
when people relied on ‘the news’ for facts. There was a time when believing in
God wasn’t viewed as a weakness. There
was a time when people liked their neighbors and often became as close as
family. There was a time when people would give the shirt off their back to
help someone in need, regardless of their race, color, religion, or status in
the community. At least, I like to think there was a time like that. I like to
think we could some day find a way to get back to the basics of things and
remember to be grateful for things. Times change, oh, yes. There is a lot to be
grateful for in change as well. Thanks to technology I can communicate with my
family from afar….by stalking their Facebook statuses and photos. But while
that is a blessing…it’s also a curse. There was a time when actual
communication was required in order to find out how my distant family was
doing. I’d have to pick up a phone, physically write a letter and take it to
the post office or get in a car and travel to see them. Those times were the
best!! We got to hug more! We laughed together. We were so much closer then.
Times have changed so much that not only do we not talk or see each other very
often….but we have a million excuses every time we try to make it happen. Work,
distance, no vacation days, untrustworthy vehicle, money, other commitments….What
happened to us? Technology. A blessing…and a curse. Why do any of those things
when all we have to do to find out what our friends/family are up to is click? I
bet a lot of anxiety in the world could’ve been avoided had it not been for
this instant gratification world we created with technology. Or maybe, we’ve
got it all wrong. Maybe technology isn’t to blame. Maybe we are to blame. We
choose to stick our face in that screen for hours a day. We choose to shoot an
email or text rather than pick up the phone and actually talk to people. We choose
not to plan ahead, not to save money and not to take that
once a year trip to see our distant family. We choose to hide behind our
devices and avoid ...what? What are we trying to avoid? Why are we so lazy??
There was a time in my life when I was a very sarcastic, cynical, no-filter
kind of person. Who am I kidding, that’s still me. But I’ve grown up a little bit so it’s a
little easier to stifle. But the cynic in me sees all these Facebook memes and
hears teenage conversations and watches grown people argue on social media and
I just want to scream! I want to mother the crap out of people! I want to point
fingers and force my know-it-all opinion on these crazy people! I want to
unleash my OCD and my need to control things and just let people have it when
they bash each other and ridicule each other and repeatedly post so much
unnecessary, embarrassing, heart wrenching, garbage all over the internet!!
When did we become such selfish assholes?! Just because I don’t agree with your
opinion doesn’t give me the right to abominate you, publicly. You can get your
point across without belittling someone else. You can make your voice heard
without anger and resentment. There are
much bigger things going on in this world than the war inside you. Take a look around. Open your
eyes. Open your heart. Who are you? Did no one ever love you? Have you never
cried or hurt? Do you even care how the person on the other end of that post feels
when they read that garbage? This is how I feel when people get so
opinionated on Facebook and try to shove their ideas down everyone’s throat. Everyone
is entitled to their opinion and I’m not telling anyone what to think or feel.
But maybe if more people thought and cared about the way they made other people
feel, we would all get along much better. Every single one of us is different
in one way or another. Maybe people like me need to be a little tougher, get a
backbone. Maybe I should just stay off Facebook if I don’t want to read someone
else’s negativity, constantly. Maybe I should stop being so soft and stand up
for myself instead of letting other people’s opinions bother me. Or maybe
people should just be a little nicer. I promise, being nice and caring and
loving one another is going to get us a lot closer to peace and happiness than
ridicule and bullying. I care. I care about you. I care about your kids
milestones, your heartbreak, your joys, your comical views, your ability to see
past my flaws, your friendship, your love, your honesty, your respect, your
life. I care. I value you. You are important to me. I love as much as possible
and forgive as much as possible and to me, there is more strength in that than
there is in hiding behind the internet and jumping on the bandwagon to hell.
When people stand so strongly for what they believe in that
they are willing to hurt those that disagree….that bothers me. It is
embarrassing and it hurts my heart. I wish those people could humble themselves
just a little bit. You can still stand.
You can still fight. You can still be true to yourself and your beliefs….while
understanding that not everyone feels that way. Take a stand…in a positive way.
Don’t be afraid to care about more than the cause. And by all means remember that once you put
something on the internet, it never goes away. Your opinions may change. Your
children will one day be old enough to find this stuff on the internet. And
believe it or not, they may have a different opinion than you do.
I know I can’t change the world. I can’t even change my mind
without a fight. But one thing that will never change is my heart. There is a
lot of negativity in this world. I choose love. Every day I remind myself how
lucky I am. I’m surrounded by love. Sometimes it’s hard to see because all the
negativity gets in the way. But it’s
there. This election year is one of the most embarrassing, yet. Some of the
things going on in the world are pretty disgraceful and disheartening. I know I
have an obligation to vote for our next president and all the issues that will
affect me and my family. And I
will. Not that I think my opinion will
change much, politically. If we are going to ‘Make America Great Again’, I
truly believe we need to start with ourselves. What does it mean to make America great,
anyway? Are we not proud to be Americans? Right now? Today? I refuse to believe
that one person…a president…is responsible for making America great.
THAT is up to us. The people. I will do my best in every aspect of my life to
be a good person, make good choices, love deeply, share joy, comfort and heal,
listen, educate, forgive and understand.
I am blessed with the life I’ve been given. I’m honored to be a part of
your life. I will strive for positivity all around me, all the time. And for
me, love will always be the answer.
I love reading your blogs!!! So much truth in what you write. I am very blessed as well and thankful everyday!!! Love you beautiful
ReplyDeleteI don't know why I'm just seeing your post here but thank you for reading sweetie!! I've always worn my heart on my sleeve and poured my heart out in just about everything I do. I know how thankful you are and how blessed you are....because you are such a blessing to me!! Love you to the moon, gorgeous!!
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