Love big and count your blessings

I woke up this morning like every other day, letting the dog out, jumping in the shower and getting ready for work while Tanner watched “Chickmunks” for the 100^th time this month.

Do you know how many blessings are right there in that statement?! I woke up! Thank God! I have an amazing little dog who often makes me crazy but he loves me despite my impatience and foul mouth. I own a home where I am safe and can shower any time I want to. I’m blessed with not one amazing little boy but 4 beautiful, loving, intelligent, good-hearted children! I have a job! I have a job in a place where people not only care about what I do for them, but they care about me as a person. And I still, after 17.5 years, wake up wanting to go to work. I have a t.v. I can actually remember a time when we only had 1 in the whole house! Not a day goes by that I don’t count these blessings.

Someone once told me that we stop growing up, mentally, when traumatic things happen to us, that whatever age we are when that traumatic event takes place, that’s the mental age we maintain throughout our lives. I’ve been guilty of being immature at times but more than that, I’m a serious person. I’m a worry wart. I’m the one who is always focused on doing the right thing, following directions, not making mistakes and just being serious, all the time. If this theory is true it stands to reason I really did grow up too fast! While I’ve had a lot of traumatic events in my life, the most traumatic was losing my mother, 32 years ago. I wear my heart on my sleeve, as everyone who knows me will tell you.  It’s never hard to tell what kind of mood I’m in. But I can promise you this…if I’m having a bad day, and it’s your fault…I’ll tell you to your face. Not on social media outlets. And while I may vent a little on these social media outlets, I will always care enough about you not to embarrass you, or myself. I always try to remember that while I see so much of my ‘friends’ lives online, there is plenty they are not sharing. Personally, I miss the time when my friends would stop by my house to say hi. I miss answering a home phone and having the person on the other line just want to gab for a while. Talking is, after all, my very favorite thing to do! I miss just going to the mall to walk around, shoot the poo and window shop. I miss cookouts at the park. I miss having friends. All my friends have suddenly turned into acquaintances, people I used to know. I wish I could go back to a time when we all just talked more.

Life can be a real can of worms sometimes. It’s easy to see how one can be so easily influenced by the negativity in the world. It’s all around us. The media is a perfect example. There was a time, long before me when people relied on ‘the news’ for facts. There was a time when believing in God wasn’t viewed as a weakness.  There was a time when people liked their neighbors and often became as close as family. There was a time when people would give the shirt off their back to help someone in need, regardless of their race, color, religion, or status in the community. At least, I like to think there was a time like that. I like to think we could some day find a way to get back to the basics of things and remember to be grateful for things. Times change, oh, yes. There is a lot to be grateful for in change as well. Thanks to technology I can communicate with my family from afar….by stalking their Facebook statuses and photos. But while that is a blessing…it’s also a curse. There was a time when actual communication was required in order to find out how my distant family was doing. I’d have to pick up a phone, physically write a letter and take it to the post office or get in a car and travel to see them. Those times were the best!! We got to hug more! We laughed together. We were so much closer then. Times have changed so much that not only do we not talk or see each other very often….but we have a million excuses every time we try to make it happen. Work, distance, no vacation days, untrustworthy vehicle, money, other commitments….What happened to us? Technology. A blessing…and a curse. Why do any of those things when all we have to do to find out what our friends/family are up to is click? I bet a lot of anxiety in the world could’ve been avoided had it not been for this instant gratification world we created with technology. Or maybe, we’ve got it all wrong. Maybe technology isn’t to blame. Maybe we are to blame. We choose to stick our face in that screen for hours a day. We choose to shoot an email or text rather than pick up the phone and actually talk to people. We choose not to plan ahead, not to save money and not to take that once a year trip to see our distant family. We choose to hide behind our devices and avoid ...what? What are we trying to avoid? Why are we so lazy?? There was a time in my life when I was a very sarcastic, cynical, no-filter kind of person. Who am I kidding, that’s still me.  But I’ve grown up a little bit so it’s a little easier to stifle. But the cynic in me sees all these Facebook memes and hears teenage conversations and watches grown people argue on social media and I just want to scream! I want to mother the crap out of people! I want to point fingers and force my know-it-all opinion on these crazy people! I want to unleash my OCD and my need to control things and just let people have it when they bash each other and ridicule each other and repeatedly post so much unnecessary, embarrassing, heart wrenching, garbage all over the internet!! When did we become such selfish assholes?! Just because I don’t agree with your opinion doesn’t give me the right to abominate you, publicly. You can get your point across without belittling someone else. You can make your voice heard without anger and resentment.  There are much bigger things going on in this world than the war inside you. Take a look around. Open your eyes. Open your heart. Who are you? Did no one ever love you? Have you never cried or hurt?  Do you even care how the person on the other end of that post feels when they read that garbage? This is how I feel when people get so opinionated on Facebook and try to shove their ideas down everyone’s throat. Everyone is entitled to their opinion and I’m not telling anyone what to think or feel. But maybe if more people thought and cared about the way they made other people feel, we would all get along much better. Every single one of us is different in one way or another. Maybe people like me need to be a little tougher, get a backbone. Maybe I should just stay off Facebook if I don’t want to read someone else’s negativity, constantly. Maybe I should stop being so soft and stand up for myself instead of letting other people’s opinions bother me. Or maybe people should just be a little nicer. I promise, being nice and caring and loving one another is going to get us a lot closer to peace and happiness than ridicule and bullying. I care. I care about you. I care about your kids milestones, your heartbreak, your joys, your comical views, your ability to see past my flaws, your friendship, your love, your honesty, your respect, your life. I care. I value you. You are important to me. I love as much as possible and forgive as much as possible and to me, there is more strength in that than there is in hiding behind the internet and jumping on the bandwagon to hell.

When people stand so strongly for what they believe in that they are willing to hurt those that disagree….that bothers me. It is embarrassing and it hurts my heart. I wish those people could humble themselves just a little bit.  You can still stand. You can still fight. You can still be true to yourself and your beliefs….while understanding that not everyone feels that way. Take a stand…in a positive way. Don’t be afraid to care about more than the cause.  And by all means remember that once you put something on the internet, it never goes away. Your opinions may change. Your children will one day be old enough to find this stuff on the internet. And believe it or not, they may have a different opinion than you do.

I know I can’t change the world. I can’t even change my mind without a fight. But one thing that will never change is my heart. There is a lot of negativity in this world. I choose love. Every day I remind myself how lucky I am. I’m surrounded by love. Sometimes it’s hard to see because all the negativity gets in the way.  But it’s there. This election year is one of the most embarrassing, yet. Some of the things going on in the world are pretty disgraceful and disheartening. I know I have an obligation to vote for our next president and all the issues that will affect me and my family.  And I will.  Not that I think my opinion will change much, politically. If we are going to ‘Make America Great Again’, I truly believe we need to start with ourselves. What does it mean to make America great, anyway? Are we not proud to be Americans? Right now? Today? I refuse to believe that one person…a president…is responsible for making America great. THAT is up to us. The people. I will do my best in every aspect of my life to be a good person, make good choices, love deeply, share joy, comfort and heal, listen, educate, forgive and understand.  I am blessed with the life I’ve been given. I’m honored to be a part of your life. I will strive for positivity all around me, all the time. And for me, love will always be the answer.