Quitcherbitchin

Our journey through life brings boat loads of ups and downs. We live. We learn (most of the time). We survive. I’m sure I’m not the only one who has felt so terrible at times that it’s as if the world is seriously going to just…stop. I get so wrapped up in my emotions that I can’t see past whatever is plaguing me.  My emotions flip flop 82 times in 25 seconds and the result is sheer confusion.

If I have to deal with one more holier-than-thou, the world owes me, low self esteem, self righteous, moral lacking, ignorant, ass-kissing, road hogging, lying, annoying, rule breaking suckwad who refuses to admit that they are the one with the problem, I’m going to……smile. Because I know that I’m way better off than they are.

Everyone is so touchy these days.  Anger overflows from the mouths of everyone around us. Judgment is only an eye roll away.  If we focus more on ourselves than those around us, we might just learn to get along.  Let’s face it. We all care about what other people think of us no matter what we say. We don’t want people to dislike us, disrespect us, talk bad about us, judge us or hold a grudge against us.  The ugly truth is it doesn’t matter what we want. People suck. Time changes everything and we the people, are proof. It was much easier to make a friend back when we had no choice but to communicate face to face instead of today’s modern communications through phone, text, email, tweets and other electronic outlets.  When we faced things as they happened, up close and personal, laying all our cards on the table, it was less likely we would walk away mad. Yes, someone might get punched in the face or shot in the knee.  But I bet that shit didn’t happen again!  Oh, times have changed, for sure.  I’m a firm believer in paying it forward. I’ve said in other blogs that I believe that people tend to act like those they spend the most time with.  If you are around someone who is negative all the time, complaining, worrying, sad, unhappy with themselves and sickly….you are going to start acting like you have a stick up your own ass.  It’s hard to smile at someone who is constantly complaining.  We naturally feel sorry for them, don’t believe them, wonder what is really going on or just wish they would complain to someone else.  Don’t even lie…you know you’ve been there.  I know I have.  I’ve been the complainer. And I’ve been the bitch slapper.  Well, metaphorically speaking. I don’t like to slap my bitches. But you understand what I’m saying. Some people just don’t now how to act. Maybe it’s the way they were raised and they don’t know any better. Maybe they are so embarrassed and hurt inside over how their life is turning out that they unknowingly take it out on the people around them. I sometimes think these people think they are owed something. I sometimes think, ‘who the hell do they think they are???” But if I say that to them….or even act like I’m thinking it…there will be someone thinking the same thing about me. I bite my tongue a lot. But everyone has a limit to how much bullshit they can take. It’s all about how you deal with it. I’ve never been one to hold back my opinion about something and I’m hard headed like my father so I will fight to get my point across.  I just don’t understand how some people work.  It drives me nuts. I’m not thinking of anyone in particular so stop biting your nails.  I’m not that vain….I don’t think anyone really cares what I think of them.  And if they do, my advice to them is to stop worrying what I think and just make sure they are happy with themselves. That’s really all that matters. When I’m the one doing the complaining and feeling sorry for myself, I’m going to read this little blog.  Maybe I’ll talk some sense into myself.

Why do we do this to ourselves??  Why do we get ourselves so worked up about the little things until they turn into big things and then we feel helpless and alone and just plain stupid???  We need to just stop. Stop waiting to win the lottery. Stop telling Joe Schmo that you don’t know what to do with your unfortunate, unbearable, miserable situation.  You know exactly what you have to do. Put on your big kid panties and deal with it, just like the T-shirt says. You are not going to wake up tomorrow and suddenly have a fat bank account, a quiet house, children who are fed and clothed and waiting to greet you with smiles and hugs, no laundry, a full tank of gas, a thank you letter from the gas company, a closet full of ironed laundry, a personal chef or an amazing body.  If you want those things, you are the only one who can make it happen.  Yes, it takes time. Yes, it’s possible.  No, you don’t have to kill yourself to get it.  You judge that guy over there for being impatient and cutting you off in traffic, but what did you just say when he did it? Does that make you better than him? Did your yelling out change the course of events? Did he even hear you? Why do you do that to yourself? Just breathe.  You don’t have to like it. But the only way you are going to get through it without needing a Valium is to relax and move on. If you don’t like something all you have to do is change it. It’s that simple.  If you don’t think you can change it alone, ask someone for help. But it’s up to you to decide what you want and how you’re going to get it.  So stop pointing fingers. Stop rolling your eyes. Stop judging others. Stop laughing at the guy who can’t seem to get his shit together. Stop lying to yourself. Be productive. Be impressive. Be happy.

I’m always trying to figure out ways to improve my life but I just realized that it’s all a big daydream.  There are so many things I want in life and I’m not talking materialistically.  Yes, it would be fanflippintastic to have more money in the bank.  But it’s more important to me that my children learn how to balance a checkbook. I would love to be driving a brand new SUV or Crossover but it’s more important to me that my kids have socks and underwear, sans holes. Oh yes, they put holes in their underwear. Don’t act like you don’t. I would love to spend hours upon hours scrapbooking, spring cleaning my house to impress my guests, and maintaining my flower beds to make the home front more appealing. But it’s more important to me to use the little bit of spare time I have to laugh and play with my children who some day will not be there to brighten my day.  I can’t tell anyone else what to do with their lives, their children, their homes or their jobs. But I can try to be a positive influence in their lives.  My saving grace is usually sarcasm. It keeps me from getting a little too full of myself. It keeps me from taking myself too seriously. It makes people around me laugh and put their guard down. It helps me get through some tough conversations. Sarcasm might not work for everyone, but used properly and without too much offense it can be a saving grace. I suggest you find your sarcasm. It could save your life. It could at least keep you from choking the shit out of some jerk that probably needs it and save you a trip to the slammer…or the nut house.

So before you start to complain about something in your life and expect someone to help you out, ask yourself what you are doing to change it. Before you lash out against that guy with the road rage, consider slowing down and letting him pass.  The next time you feel yourself losing your patience with your kid for spilling their bowl of cereal on the living room carpet, think about the day that you wake up to an absolutely quiet house. Before you judge someone for living their life differently than you live yours, remember that we’re all human. If you make the effort to be nice to someone instead of judging from a distance, the effects will last and with any luck be passed on to other people in the process.  And lastly, don’t let someone else’s opinion of you determine who you are.  Stop worrying about what other people think. If you are comfortable in your own skin and you know you haven’t done anything wrong, they have no reason to judge you. If they still judge you, it’s their problem, not yours. Just be true to you and everything else will follow suit.

When I wake up tomorrow, I expect the world to be a better place. Go. Pay it forward.