Suzie Homemaker can suck it

It's just not me.

The house is a mess, the dishes need to be put in the dishwasher, the television is way too loud, the laundry is out of control, the dogs need to be let out, the sink is leaking, the window won't shut, the car is slowly dying, the truck uses way too much gas, the bathroom smells like pee again, the good sheets are still in the dirty laundry pile, my good spatula has gotten up and walked away, the floor in the kitchen is sticky again, the dog ate my new earrings, I forgot to pay the cable bill, we're out of coffee filters, the smoke alarm stopped working again, tomorrow is hat day and Gabe can't find the fuzzy purple hat he wanted to wear, those socks have a hole in them, you can't eat snickers and peppermint patties right before bed, these pants are too big and I don't like belts, what do you mean it's time to go?, why didn't you go before we left, doesn't that fast blinking thing mean the light bulb is out?, cut me off again and I'll follow you home, don't tell me how to do my job unless you're writing my paycheck, Christmas is how many days away?????

I'm really not a pessimist.  It's just a very short rope.

I try a little too hard, in my opinion to satisfy.  I just want everything to go smoothly.  I want smiles and laughter.  I want recognition.  I want peace and harmony.  I want bliss.  I want my kids to grow up slowly and responsibly. so that one day I won't have to worry so much about them.  I want my kids to know that I did the best I could.  I can't use the 'growing up without my mother' excuse if I fail because I've had oodles of women in my life that were great role models.  I learned from women who didn't even know they were teaching.  I continue to learn from those women and hope that I too can teach the same lessons.  As a mother, I don't want my children to suffer in any way.  I don't want them to hurt, to question authority, to wonder if they made a wise decision, to doubt their loved ones, to regret.  I can't be with them all the time but sometimes I wonder if that's exactly what is happening.  Even if they can't see me, I'm with them.  They are who they are because of me.  They do what they do because of what I teach them, what I tell them and what I do.  If my children aren't everything I hope they can be, I am the one to blame. And if they are more than I could've ever imagined, well that's because I'm the best mother there is.

As time flies by me and my wrinkles get deeper and my hair gets less dense, I am reminded of something that my grandma used to tell me.  "God will never give you more than you can handle".  I guess that makes me one tough bitch.