Respect [ri-spekt] (Verb): to hold in esteem or honor; an attitude of deference, admiration or esteem; polite or kind regard; consideration (respect for people's feelings); to pay proper attention to; not violate; to show consideration for, treat courteously or kindly.
This one little word has so much meaning, doesn’t it?
I’ve been trying to teach my children what this word means since birth. It’s not easy to explain to a 5 year old so when my now 17 year old was that young we had him write out the definition several times as a punishment for being disrespectful to his parents. I could only look at that face for so long before I knew I had to do something about it. Fast forward 7 years and I was going through it again with my youngest. Apparently I’ve passed on all the good genes.
How do you explain to a young child that talking back is disrespectful? What does that mean to them? I have tried so many times, in so many ways over the years to help my children understand how important it is to have respect for themselves and the people around them. This is such a short life. I personally don’t have time to relive this conversation on a daily basis. Please just sit, look at me, listen to what I am saying and try to understand that it’s a very important lesson to learn. How hard is that? If I am asking you to do something it isn’t because I’m too lazy to do it myself. I’m trying to teach you some responsibility. If I ask you to call me, no matter how often to check in or let me know who you are with and what you are doing, it’s because I want you to understand the importance of being accountable and I don’t want to have a coronary worrying about you. If I give you chores and discipline you when they aren’t done it isn’t because I think you are stupid, it’s because I want you to learn to be responsible and proud of yourself. Does it not feel better to know you’ve accomplished something than to be reprimanded for not doing it out of laziness? If I lose my patience with you because I’m tired of repeating myself when it comes to such rules and chores it isn’t because I am mad at you, it’s because I’m disappointed that you still haven’t learned. The real world can be a very harsh reality if you aren’t ready for it. Few of us are ever ready for it. Having someone who is willing to help you understand it and deal with it is a privilege. I’m honored to have that responsibility. That’s part of the reason I brought you into this world. Don’t take advantage of my love and kindness by repaying me with your selfishness, your attitude and your self loathing. Stand up straight. Look me in the eye when I’m talking to you. Answer my questions when I ask them. Be honest with me. Stop twisting my words and take some responsibility for your own words and actions. Do something because you can, and not because you have to, for a change. Evaluate your priorities and be ready to take on the world because the world is always ready for you. You think it’s hard to hear your mother tell you you’re wrong? Get a grip. Stop waiting for something to happen in your life and make it happen. Stop wasting your time. So, its summer and you’re still a kid, fine. Take care of your responsibilities and you’ll have plenty of time to screw around. Ignore your responsibilities and you’ll be paying for it when you are no longer a kid. I won’t always be here to slap you in the face with reality so if I were you I would wise up and change your way of thinking. Be grateful you have a mother that cares enough to yell at you, embarrass you, correct you when you’re wrong, give you useful advice, give you rules to live by and sacrifice all to make you healthy and happy. And you are not the only person she takes care of. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and wake up before life passes you by and you have heaps and tons of regret. Be proud of yourself. Have confidence in who you are, where you come from and where you’re going. Don’t let the opinion of others get you down. Everyone is entitled to their opinion. It doesn’t mean you have to agree. Don’t settle for anything that doesn’t make you laugh, smile, cry tears of joy and brag. If it doesn’t do those things for you it isn’t worth having. Have some respect for yourself.
I could go on for days. Hopefully my children are learning slivers of the things I’m trying to teach them because there are days when I don’t even know why I’m here. As I deal with them I realize that there are adults out there that still don’t know how to take care of their responsibilities. Everyone knows the motto, “you only live once”. I just don’t think they understand what that means. Don’t live your life for anyone but you. I don’t make my decisions based on what someone else is going to think. I do, however, think about how my decisions affect the people around me. I’m a social butterfly. I love to surround myself with people; new friends and old, family, neighbors, co workers, employers, and strangers. I like to be happy. I like to have fun. I like to make memories and take full advantage of every opportunity in life, when I recognize it. No matter what decisions I am faced with or who might be affected by the outcome, I always have the foresight to consider other people’s feelings as well as my own. I’m not a selfish person. I love people. I guess I want people to love me too, but I’m not an attention hog or anything. I just want to be happy. I want to live this life and leave this life with a smile on my face. I want the people in my life that make me who I am to have nothing but fond memories of me. I want to make a difference but most of all, I just want the people I love to be happy and know that I love them, for whatever it’s worth. That is what makes me happy.
I know perfection is a long way off for all of us. Nothing in this world is perfect. I refuse to treat anyone with any less love and respect than what I expect from them. I don’t claim to know much, but I do know that in my own life, I think I have my priorities in order. I’m confident that I’m doing the right thing because my heart is in it and I never go to bed upset or angry. I do what I have to do so I can do what I want to do. I may not be the perfect mother, but I’m the only mother I know how to be. I love my children. I want them to be happy. I don’t think that’s too much to ask. As for my friendships, I have many. I value them all. I try to maintain the bonds I’ve made whether it’s a quick lunch, a house party or a night out on the town. Any friend of mine knows I’m a good person so I have no worries. And if they ever doubt my love for them, they need only click on their Facebook profile and reminisce while they scroll through the memories on my page. Unless, of course, they still remember how to use a phone. As for my children…they’re good kids. I wouldn’t allow them to be anything but. And when they hear what I’m saying and have time to look back at it, I can only hope they understand that every word that comes out of my mouth is derived from love. One day, they can have that conversation with their own kids and with any luck I’ll be around to see it.
I have so much respect for my elders and everything they've lived through. Sometimes I don't know if I'll make it through a day, much less a morning. Some of them have made it through decades! I just hope I make it a few more decades. I have things to do in this life time. I am going to try not to allow my emotions to get the best of me and I'm going to stick to my guns. Respect is one of the most important things I'm teaching my children...but they also need to know how to not take themselves so seriously. Life is short. Be happy. And listen to your mother, she's wise beyond your highest hopes and your number one ally. You need her. You'll always need her.
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